only 2 years, but yet a lifetime

On the 7th of this month it was the second year anniversary of my Dads operation. For those of you who don't know this was a huge and highly risky operation; and on that day God graciously granted our prayers for a safe and successful procedure.

Also on that day God gave me an inner peace like I had never felt before. I had to let go and put my trust in God that He was going to do what was right according to His perfect will. He rested his had upon my shoulder and let me know that He was there no matter what the outcome, good or bad, He was there.

It had been what seemed like a lifetime, but in fact just 4 or so hours had passed, Dad was out of the theater and in a stable condition, but the road to recovery was not going to be an easy one.

6 days after his operation he was moved from the cardio ICU (intensive care unit) to just the ordinary ICU.

Day seven the 14th of April, it was Dads birthday. Still in the ICU he was only permitted 2 visitors at a time. Baring cake in one arm and gifts in the other Mum was devastated that the nurse wouldn't let us all in (Mum, my brother and sister and myself) to wish him a happy birthday. At that time Dads Doctor was walking past and inquired, he escorted us in we sang Happy birthday, Dad blew out his imaginary candles, we sliced up the cake and he unwrapped his presents. It was a memorable but slightly abnormal birthday.

...before the operation the Doctors told us that Dad was never going to be 'cured' but the operation would extend his life. And that after his opp he was going to get worse before he got better...
They were spot on Dad did get worse, but then he got better, he could do things and it was as if he had a whole new lease of life.

* * *

So people ask me "how's your Dad?" from time to time, and I think how am I supposed to answer that? It's hard because I am with him everyday, I don't notice the slow but steady decline in his health until something really strikes him and we are forced to take a step back and re-asses.

Like just recently Dad was a little under the weather so he went to see his GP, who sent him to the Hospital. It was nothing major thankfully, however they were thorougher and kept him in all long weekend, which he was not overly thrilled about.
But stepping back and looking at the big picture I realise now that Dad isn't well, in fact I would say he is the same now (if not worse) then before he had the operation.
I try not to dwell on it because it makes me far too sad, but knowing that my father is just going to get progressively worse, slowly but surely until.... well that's just not a happy thought.

Thankfully I know that he will live forever in eternity with the Lord almighty, and that makes me happy, but selfishly i want him here with me. I think about my wedding some day, will he be there to walk me down the isle, or to see his gran kids.
But then I think of how hard it must be for him, the same thoughts he must have about missing out on life's milestones, or the frustration he must feel when he can't complete a simple task without taking a break. I pray that God my ease his burdens and worries, that he might to feel that inner peace that I felt that day 2 years ago. And that I might be a support for him and that I may to rediscover the indescribable feeling of handing it all to God and resting solely on Him.